Well, Monday brought the much anticipated doctor’s appointment with the reproductive fertility specialist. As you know we have been walking along our conception journey now for 18 months (October’s cycle will make 19) and have taken our max 6 months of Clomid. I’ve had surgery, ultrasounds, blood work and the hubs has endured the same. All signs were showing green lights, but nothing was taking shape.
After filling out a short narrative for both the hubs and myself, I made it to Montgomery where I would meet my specialist who drove up from Mobile to see me. As with any doctors visit, he was running about 30 minutes behind- which only gave me more time to allow my mind to wonder. Finally, he made it and we went back into his office to chat. He laughed and complimented me on how organized I had all of our lab results from previous doctors. After sifting through everything- he adjusted his glasses (classic doctor move) and started talking to me about his findings. Although he was very polite and warm- he didn’t beat around the bush and laid things out for me. Due to a mild/moderate case of endometriosis on my part and a substantial male factor on the hubs part- he politely told me that our chances to naturally conceive were extremely low. He said he wasn’t God, so he couldn’t say they were impossible, but that they were very unlikely.
Now, at that moment my heart sank and I fought like crazy to hold back the water works. I did good- for a while- and then just apologized and allowed myself a few rounds of tears. Here is where things got interesting. At this point the doctor went on to talk about some more test he wanted to have done to the hubs and gave me the names of a few doctors to contact. He resumed the conversation by saying “but here is the good news”….. we spent the next portion of our visit talking about IVF- of which he says will likely be the only way we conceive. He told me about the FSH shots, the retrieval, the specimens, everything (even the estimated $13,000 price tag for each session). Then he said, “now the great thing about IVF is that it only takes 1 swimmer to make things work….” As he continued to talk my mind drifted to something completely different- Matthew 17:20 "You don't have enough faith," Jesus told them. "I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it would move. Nothing would be impossible." Now, I don’t know if the resolve in my face changed or if the Holy Spirit took over, but the next thing the doctor said was “ Now, I know we are in the south and as a big Bible belt area- most people turn to their faith to see them through these decisions”….
With his words I almost had to have a praise break (lol) because I thought to myself- Jesus said faith as small as A mustard seed ( not a pack, not a hand full, but a single tiny seed) you could move mountains; and here this doctor reassured me by saying we only needed A single swimmer for conception to work. Now, IVF is probably not an option in the near future for us because insurance does not cover it and we really don’t have that kind of money lying around to drop on the blink of an eye. However, I realized it takes A single swimmer to make this work- my single mustard seed of faith. Usually when I leave the office I just feel torn and depleted, but on Monday as I sat in my car I felt the Holy Spirit say “just wait on me”.
So, for every person carrying their SINGLE mustard seed of faith on our behalf we say thank you. We ask that you continue to keep us in your prayers as we continue the paper work for adoption and foster care, and that God will bless our baby and their birth mother, and that He will provide the provisions ($$) needed for his blessings to prevail- all along our Anderson Adventure.
